In Which The Twins Make It Back To Earth
by TheDoritoOverlord
Summary: After being taken away by their father to become planetary overlords, the Twins do their best to escape back to their long-term vacation spot. (Takes place after Trouble With Triples. Cross-posted on AO3.)


The education lasted for hours, much to the detriment of the Twins, who went rather quickly from being bored to quite distressed.

Their cries echoed through every chamber in the ship, but their pleas went quite unnoticed by their father- who was certain any lingering regret would be erased once their education was complete.

It had been a while (how long? They had no rise and fall of the sun to tell them) when their bonds were released, allowing the Twins to slide off their chairs to the floor.

Their father towered over them. "You shall now take a short recess, as you have begun to tire. Afterwards, you shall return to resume your learning."

Both Twins were very quiet for a moment, eyeing each other. Naturally, they had the same idea in mind.

"Oh, yes father. We shall rejuvenate ourselves, and return for many more hours of education."

"Yes! We will then be better rested for the absorption of knowledge. Then, what marvellous overlords we shall make!"

It was very lucky for the Twins that they sounded equally flat in deception as they did in ordinary circumstances. Their father dismissed them with a wave on an appendage, and the pair slowly walked out of the room into the hall.

. . . .

A klaxon blared as the Twins sprinted through the labyrinthine passageway, holding each other's hands as they ran. Somewhere behind them, they knew their Father's defense systems were coming to retrieve them both.

It was a good thing, then, that they had travelled many a time on this ship in their youth- because they knew the escape pods were waiting just around a couple of corners.

"There!"

There indeed. Without hesitation, the Twins ran through the airlock, one slamming a fist on the 'close door' button. They jumped quickly into the seats of the escape pod, hurriedly preparing it for launch.

Behind them, they could still hear their father's forces drawing nearer- but it was too late for them. Their slightly dingy, long-unused method of transport was operational.

As they detached from the ship, both Twins turned to view their former prison through the rear window.

"Haha! Wallow in your neverending humiliation, for you have been outsmarted!"

"Bi-atches!"

Their father, of course, could not see or hear either of them, but it made them feel much better to taunt him, and also to make offensive but incomprehensible hand gestures at him from their tiny craft.

As they watched their father's ship grow smaller and smaller in the vast inky void of space, the Twins turned to view their vessel properly. It was a tiny, cramped thing, with two seats, a small area behind in which they were standing, and a serviceable airlock.

There was not much else aboard, and the possibility of boredom began to creep into the Twin's minds. There was only one thing they despised more than work, and that was being bored.

"Not to worry," one assured the other. "We shall be back in our playground soon enough."

"Yes. Our elder brothers have surely been thoroughly humiliated."

"And I am sure our former bud-steward has taken care of them."

. . . .

At that very moment, the Triplets had been thrown from the walls of Superjail! in a heap, bloody from their generous beating at the hands of Alice. As they limped away to await a pickup craft, the muscular woman yelled down from the wall.

"And stay out, you fuckers!"

The Warden practically pranced by, entranced by her mastery over excessive violence.

"Well done, Alice!"

She did not appear to be listening to him. She looked to the retreating figures of the Triplets, then to the sky.

"Hey," she said. "What do you think happened to those other guys?"

"Who?"

"Never mind."

. . . .

A course had been charted for earth by the navigation system, but the pod could not hope to rival the speed of their father's ship.

One Twin said what they both were thinking. "If Father wants to catch us, he must find us first."

. . . .

"I miss our games."

"As do I."

They had only been travelling for two hours, and already the boredom was unbearable.

An attempt had been made at one point to find something, anything on board to occupy their time, but the search had ultimately been fruitless.

(If they did not find something to entertain them soon, then the Twins would have to face the horror of self-contemplation, as all bored people eventually do.)

In perfect synchronisation, they drummed their long fingers on the dashboard.

Outside, the wonders of the cosmos sat in their infinite splendor, completely underappreciated.

. . . .

It was not long before the pair began to hunger. There was no food aboard- as provisions were stored outside the pods, but the Twins had not had any time when they had fled. To be fair, it had not seemed like a stupid system until this point in time.

Both of them pondered what to do- there was nothing edible in storage, and the idea of eating each other was (naturally) unthinkable.

The only consolation in all this was that being hungry offered suitable distraction from the soul- crushing boredom.

A stroke of luck came to them soon after, however- as they passed a few impossible geometries floating in the blackness, they noticed a figure atop a paradoxical staircase.

It was a small, unassuming being, carrying a bag and making a sweeping motion with one of its appendages.

"Aha! A hitchhiker. Let us invite him in through the airlock, so we may consume him at our leisure."

"An excellent idea." They nodded together, in perfect agreement.

. . . .

One Twin dabbed the corner of his mouth delicately with a napkin from the glove compartment. (Why exactly an escape pod needed a glove compartment was unknown, but it was not a particularly relevant detail.)

Beside him, the other had busied himself rummaging through the unfortunate hitchhiker's bag. Suddenly, his face lit up as he drew something from the bag's contents.

"Look! In the bag, there is a handheld!"

"Haha. It appears we have scored."

Both Twins ogled the personal gaming system. It could not hope to mirror the glory of their own system, of course, but it would be enough to sustain them for a time.

There appeared to be only one game contained on the system- the Twins shared the handheld console, each using one hand to play. The game itself was fairly simple- it was easily mastered in a matter of moments.

. . . .

The Twins stayed thoroughly engrossed in their (stolen) game for several hours now- until a moderately sized star skipper exited hyperspace extremely closeby. It silently approached the much smaller craft,

"It appears we are being approached."

"Then I suppose we must prepare to be boarded."

These words had barely been spoked when a trio of radically dressed space pirates forced themselves through the airlock. One of the Twins held tighter onto the handheld system, it being the only thing of remote value to them besides each other.

The tallest of the three pointed his weapon at the Twins, giving them the clear message not to move. To his mates, he barked an order to search the vessel.

The other two rummaged around in the back for a moment, before stopping, confused.

"Captain, there's nothing in here."

'Absolutely jack shit!" the other chimed in.

The captain turned away from the Twins for a moment. "Fuck! Are you sure? We better not have wasted a trip, or else I'll- wait, what the hell?"

The captain had turned back to the front seats, most likely to make some sort of threat toward the Twins, only to find both chairs empty.

A slight ways away, in the void of space, their ship's engines fired.

The trio of outlaws had barely enough time to shout before their vessel accelerated nearly out of sight almost instantly, leaving the three pirates stranded in the middle of space.

If they had been close enough to see through the front windshield of their retreating ship, they would have seen the Twins grinning widely as they waved farewell to their former vessel.

Again, though none of the pirates could hear them, they felt another taunting was in order.

"It appears these fools have been effectively schooled."

"Class is in session."

A moment passed. As they turned from the window, one of the Twins offered the other the console.

"Another round?"

"Only if you are buying."

They laughed at this, flat but completely genuine in their characteristic fashion.

. . . .

As the unmistakable shape of the planet Earth loomed ever closer, the Twins found themselves relieved to return to their extended vacation spot.

It wouldn't be long before they would be back to causing massive havok within the walls of Superjail! just as they always had.

Both of them were already forming new ideas- perhaps something with one of the extraterrestrial diseases they had sealed away somewhere in their quarters.

. . . .

The ship's landing gear touched down within the walls of Superjail! sometime during the afternoon. The hatch doors opened in a billow of steam, allowing the occupants to make their exit.

"We have returned!"

Alice looked up from the latest issue of _Cosmo_ to see the pair emerge from their stolen craft. "Oh yeah. You guys left. Welcome back, I guess."

The Twins strolled past in the direction of their quarters, holding each other's hands and completely ignoring their abandoned spacecraft.

"Welcome back, indeed." They murmured together, before promptly teleporting away, back to the familiarity of their proper living space and gaming system.

Shaking her head slightly, Alice turned back to her magazine.

"Fucking weirdos."


End file.
